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陈兆纪:婚姻乃是一生之久

时间:2018-08-29 作者:cyf

说到婚姻很多网友都觉得这样的事情还真的是复杂复杂,对于有的人来说简直就是一生的苦恼,当然了更多的时候你会发现这都是需要去经营去面对的,那么你需要做更多的就需要去学了,那么到底怎么学,下面跟随小编一起看看陈兆纪这位爱情大师怎么说的吧!

陈兆纪:婚姻乃是一生之久

昨晚,我很荣幸受邀在夫妻婚姻强化课程毕业庆典上致辞。这些夫妻花时间参加了10期的课程来强化他们的婚姻。

冒着不再被邀请出席毕业庆典的风险,我一反常理地告诉这些夫妻,他们从这些课程学到的全部知识都是没有用处的。因为在进一步解释之前我停了一下,所以我看到了一些不舒服的反应和震惊的面孔。我赶紧解释我的意思是说,如果夫妻不将所学到的融入实践,那么任何课程对他们的婚姻都永远毫无益处。

关键是行动;刻意地去行动才能使婚姻幸福。

婚姻没有毕业,而是一生之久

我分享道,在婚姻中没有毕业。我和爱人结婚35年了,仍然在学习如何使我们的关系更好。

我们的婚姻从来都是也将是我们二人携手走过的一生的道路。当我们一觉醒来成为丈夫和妻子,我们同前一天那两个单身的人并无不同。“二人成为一体”,这句话并没有一夜之间在我们身上产生奇迹般地改变。而不久以后,随着我们一起进入新生活的是:我们的强点、弱点、性格、原来的重担、希望以及新的期待。

我们的婚姻旅途起起伏伏,很有意思。许多时候我们身处山巅,热情高涨,对彼此在一起的生活充满激情。而另一些时候我们感觉爱情似乎躲了起来,生活在一起简直就是痛苦。

我们拥有许多彼此相爱阳光灿烂的日子。同样,也有许多暴风骤雨行路艰险的日子。有些时候我们享受我们的谈话多么希望永远不要结束,而有些时候我们无所顾忌的话语刺伤彼此。

就像在这个旅途当中的许多其他旅行者一样,我们确实不知道终点,甚至当表面上我们有了计划,我们也不知道我们将何时到达。

但是我们继续行进。时时铭记我们对彼此的誓言,手挽着手,一步一步地前行。每天学习如何更好地爱对方更多,提升我们的忍耐和宽容度,互相接纳,将对方放在首位。

GaryThomas撰写《Sacred Marriage》时说的完全正确“美好的婚姻不是你找到的,而是你努力经营的结果。”

恭喜你,但并非因课程结束

我仍旧祝贺这些毕业的夫妻们,但不是因为课程结束了。而是因为他们关心他们的婚姻。

那一定是他们花时间参加这门课的主要原因。他们关心他们的婚姻,希望婚姻幸福,希望他们的婚姻有美满的结局。

接着,我让他们注视着自己配偶的眼睛说,“谢谢你关心我们的婚姻。”

保持关注你的婚姻成长

相爱容易,相守难。美好的婚姻需要努力地、殷勤地经营。因此,关心你的婚姻成长,让你的婚姻大放异彩。

婚姻生活不是美丽的童话。结局不会像故事里那样从此过上幸福快乐的生活。你必须要付上努力。有许多的欢笑和爱情,也有许多的差异、分歧、争吵、眼泪和心痛。这些都是你们烹饪出持久而深刻相爱关系的佐料。恰当的处理,这些佐料在逆境中反而迸发出喜乐,让你们在风暴中仍有平安,并且爱将带着你有意义地走向晚年。

米歇尔和我承诺要让我们的婚姻绚烂夺目。我们努力地经营,享受着那难以形容的满足。

这就是伟大爱人们的命运!

陈兆纪:婚姻乃是一生之久

英文原文

Marriage – A Long Walk for Two

I was given the honor to address the couples at their marriage enrichment course graduation celebration last evening. These couples invested time to attend the 10-session course to strengthen their marriage.

Against all conventional wisdom and risking not to be invited to another graduation celebration, I told the couples that all they learned from the course was useless. Pausing to let my words sinkin, I observed the uncomfortable reactions and shocked faces. I quickly qualified my statement by saying that no course will ever help any couple intheir marriage if they did not put into practise what they have learned.

The keyword is action; deliberateaction to make marriage work.

Marriage is a long walk with no graduation

I shared that there is no graduation in marriage. Michelle and I have been married for 35 years and we are still learning how to better our relationship.

Our marriage has been and continues to be a long walk between the two of us. When we woke up from our first night as husband and wife, we were no different from the two inpiduals a day before. The phrase, "and the two shall become oneflesh" did not create the miracle of change in us overnight. And not for a long time afterwards. But into our new life together, we brought along our strengths, weaknesses, character, old baggage, hope and new aspirations.

We journeyed through interesting terrains. On many days we were on them ountaintop, high with great passion and zest for life with each other. On other days, feeling of love hid from us and living together seemed painful.

We have had many sunny days in which we felt so loved. Just as many were stormy days in which our walk became arduous. On some days we enjoyed our conversationso much that we wished it never had to end. On other days our careless word shurt each other.

Like many other travelers in this journey, we don"t exactly know the destination, and even when we have some semblance of a plan, we don"t know when we will arrive.

But we keep on traveling. Hand-in-hand, step-by-step and remembering our vows to each other. Learning day-by-day to be better at how to love each other more, increase our patience and to lerance, accept each other and how to consider the other above our self.

Gary Thomasis spot on when he wrote (Sacred Marriage) that "A good marriage is not something you find, it is something you work for."

Congratulations, but not for completing the course

Still I congratulated the couples who graduated, but not for completing it. Instead, I congratulated them for being interested in their marriage.

That must have been the predominant reason they invested their time to attend the course. They wereinterested in their marriage. They want to make it work, make it better and end well.

And I made them look into their spouse"s eyes to say, "Thank you for being interested in our marriage."

Keep your interest in your marriage growing

While you fell in love quite easily, love won"t simply fall into your marriage. A good marriage needs hardwork, and lots of it. So keep your interest in your marriage growing so that your marriage will be glowing.

The married life is no fairytale. You won"t end up living happily ever just like that. You have towork for it. As much as there will be joy and love, there will be lots of differences, disagreements, arguments, tears and heartaches. These are thein gredients for you to cook up a meaningful and loving relationship that will last. When properly handled, these ingredients will spout joy in adversity, peace in storm, and love that will carry you meaning fully to the sunset oflife.

Michelle and I committed to make our marriage glow. We work hard at it and are enjoying fulfillment beyond description.

Such is the destiny of great lovers!

陈兆纪:婚姻乃是一生之久

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